A DEA Intelligence Report on “Drug Slang Code Words” obtained by Public Intelligence offers law enforcement a list of “street names” for various illicit substances. Marijuana, unsurprisingly, has the largest number of entries, although, upon closer inspection, you have to wonder what the agents who compiled the list were smoking.

Is taking out a patent on the medical uses of marijuana’s primary drug component an acknowledgement that, yes, marijuana has some health-beneficial effects? Not according to the DEA.